


Skits

by RoadsideGopnik



Series: The Eyes of The Cursed [1]
Category: Warrior Cats - Fandom, Warriors - Erin Hunter
Genre: Gen, oc stuff - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-01
Updated: 2020-06-01
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:55:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24496834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoadsideGopnik/pseuds/RoadsideGopnik
Series: The Eyes of The Cursed [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1769809





	Skits

FlowerClan Elder: Moonpaw, can you read that sentence on the tree bark?

Moonpaw: No, I cannot. (Whaddup, I’m Moonpaw, I’m 7, and I never fucking learnt how to read)

* * *

Parsleypaw: Sage, look, it’s the good kush!

Sagesoul: This is roadkill near twoleg places, how good can it be?

*Parsley laughs*

* * *

Spottedpaw: hi, welcome to chili’s

* * *

Parsleypaw: _is stressed_

Sagesoul: Wait, that’s illegal.

* * *

Any cat: What’d ya say? What’d ya say?

Blackfall: I said whoever threw that pebble, your mom’s a hoe

Cats around: **_o H O H-_ **

* * *

Sablewing: Don’t fuck with me! I have the power of stars and anime on my side! 

Minnowshine: Wait-

Sablewing: aaaaaA _AAAAA_ **_AHHHH-_ **

* * *

Parsleypaw: *maniacal laughter* That’s a really good joke, Flower.

Flower: …………… Thank you.

* * *

Hawkspirit : (dramatic/mysterious entrance) Good evening.

* * *

Parsley: *makes a branch fall from a tree*

Snow: This is why mom doesn’t fucking love you!

Parsley: djshgfsjjs

* * *

Woodtuft: I’m disgusted, I’m revolted, I’ve dedicated my entire life to the Far Skies and this is what I get?!

* * *

Amberlight: IT’S THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING I’VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE! IT’S A _BANANANA,_ **_NEXT TO A BANANANA!_ **

* * *

(something dope happens)

Shadowfeather: yaaahhhhh that was legitness

Parsleypaw: Yeah, it was

* * *

Goosewish: you better watch out, yOu BeTTeR wAtCH ouT, yoU BeTtEr WatCh oUt, _YOU BETTER WATCH OUT,_ **_Y O U B E -_ **

* * *

Parsley: weLl, wHeN LifE gIVeS yOu leMoNs-

* * *

Finchbranch: Hi, I’m Finchbranch, and I’ll be your freestyle hunting mentor

* * *

Mothface: People are constantly asking me, ‘What’s it like to be sexy?’ *trips over a slippery stone*

* * *

Speckledmask: *vapes*

Rowanheart: waow : D

* * *

Heatherflight: *scares Leopardwind*

Leopardwind: aaaahhhh! stahp i coulda dropped my croissant!

Heatherflight: *laughs*

* * *

Seedthroat: hey, i’m lesbian

Addereye: I thought you were American

* * *

Amberlight: *inhales* WHAT ARE THOOOOOOOOOOOOOSE?!

Quillwillow: They. Are. My. Crocs.

* * *

Swiftstalk: *mhmhm* That is not, correct. Because according to the encyclopedia of jkshsakdhdafahdfdkjf-

* * *

(Lalalala, lalalala, Elmo’s wor-)

Parsleypaw: hello darkness, my old friend

* * *

Parsleypaw: Are you having Pepsi for breakfast?

Spottedpaw: Yeah, what’d you have?

Parsleypaw:.................................. Nothing.

Spottedpaw: Well, I’m doing better than you-

* * *

Sagesoul: Are ya talking ta me?

Eagle: *laughs*

Sagesoul: No!

Eagle: *continues laughing*

* * *

Spottedpaw: oh my gawd i love chipotle

Spottedpaw: chipotle’s mah life

* * *

Shadowfeather: 🎶Fuck this shit I’m out🎶

Shadowfeather: *jumps in a trashcan and glides away*

* * *

Any hetero molly: What makes a perfect tom?

Parsleypaw: You’re asking the wrong person, I’m gay

The other one: O h -

(🎶You are so dumb🎶)

* * *

Sagesoul: Oh wow! It’s a cat shellfish! Never seen one in the wild before!

Eagle: ee? Eeee! *collapses*

* * *

Sage: Oh shit, duck!

Featherpaw, holding a dead duck: Oh, because of the duck, is it? *gets hit by a duck*

* * *

Parsley: What do you want from me?

The Dryland cats: *cornering them and eating KitKats whole*

Parsley: Please, stop……...

* * *

Nectarthorn: omg i’m gonna have so much fun tonight.

Nectarthorn: terrorizing straight people, wherever i go! *smiles devilishly*

* * *

Any asshole, really: omg what gender are you?

Parsley: I have none. If you say otherwise, I’m going to cut you

* * *

A/C: where’s the bathroom?

Parsley: huh?

A/C: Where’s the bathroom?

Parsley: what?

A/C: _Where’s the bathroom?_

Parsley: *laughs* yeah?

A/C: **Where’s the bathroom?**

Parsley: *continues laughing and nods*

A/C: **WHERE’S THE BATHROOM-**

Parsley: uhuh, uhuh- djskdhalads

* * *

Hawkspirit: AND NOTHING WILL STAND AGAINST ME! AND THE CITY, WILL BE MINE! *laughs like a chill dude*

* * *

Shadowfeather: *laughs maniacally like a supervillain* Great knock knock joke Parsley *smiles* 

Parsley: …..thank you….

* * *

Parsley: Can straight people like, chill? Y’all have an entire year, we only get one moon-

* * *

Parsley: Wait, you’re not going to my tea party? **_TULIPPAW I MADE B I S C U I T S -_ **

* * *

Parsley: Jail’s no fun, I’ll tell you that.

Sagesoul: You’ve been?

Parsley: Once, in my past life.

Sagesoul: hOL’ U P-

* * *

Parsley: I’m in this dumbass clan with all these fakeass cats-

Tulippaw: Hey

Parsley: hey

Parsley: Fucking bitch.


End file.
